Jealousy is an ordinary human emotion. Most people feel it at some point, just as most people feel anger, joy, sadness, and other emotions at some point. Jealousy does not prove that you love someone, and it is not a standard part of a relationship. Jealousy is rooted in insecurity or fear of loss.
In this manner, is it right to be jealous in a relationship?
"[Chronic jealousy] is not a positive sign for the relationship. It might be tempting to think that someone is more interested in you, or cares for you more, because they express more jealousy or possessive behavior. But jealousy really is a negative sign of insecurity in the relationship."
In fact, researchers believe there's more to jealousy and envy than just a lack of control over one's emotions. They theorize that these feelings are rooted deep in the evolution of the human species, and as such, form a fundamental part of human nature.
Envy (from Latin invidia) is an emotion which "occurs when a person lacks another's superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it". Bertrand Russell said that envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness.
Emotions are short-lived feelings that come from a known cause, while moods are feelings that are longer lasting than emotions and have no clear starting point of formation. Emotions can range from happy, ecstatic, sad and prideful, while moods are either positive or negative.
A bitter person might spew their inner hurt and anger by saying and doing things that hurt the feelings of others, exhibiting ruthless verbal and emotional cruelty. Somehow, it makes the bitter individual feel better for a minute to see someone else suffer as they perceive themselves to be unfairly suffering.
5 Ways to Let Go of Past Hurts
- 1. Make the decision to let it go. Things don't disappear on their own.
- Express your pain — and your responsibility.
- Stop being the victim and blaming others.
- Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy.
- Forgive them — and yourself.
Below I share how to forgive someone who has hurt you in 15 steps:
- Step 1: Move On to the Next Act.
- Step 2: Reconnect to Spirit.
- Step 3: Don't Go to Sleep Angry.
- Step 4: Switch the Focus from Blaming Others to Understanding Yourself.
- Step 5: Avoid Telling People What to Do.
- Step 6: Learn to Let Go and Be Like Water.
Method 3 Letting Go of Anger
- Give yourself a break. If you feel like you're getting mad at someone, give yourself a little break for some time to cool down and regroup.
- Take deep breaths.
- Redirect your anger towards productivity.
- Care for yourself.
- Listen to relaxing music.
- Turn on your positive thoughts.
Method 1 Releasing Your Anger Productively
- Get some exercise.
- Practice controlled breathing.
- Practice progressive muscle relaxation.
- Perform an anger release ceremony.
- Use a stress-relief toy.
- Find something funny or silly.
- Listen to calming music.
- Repeat self-calming statements.
The problem with blocking one emotion is that it often messes up or blocks our ability to feel other emotions, too, like joy and excitement. It also takes a lot of psychological energy to keep things repressed in our minds which can leave us feeling drained, leaving some to call depression 'anger turned inwards'.
8 Tips to Stop Holding a Grudge
- Acknowledge the problem. Figure out what it is that's causing you to hold a grudge.
- Share your feelings. A grudge can form when an issue isn't fully confronted.
- Switch places.
- Accept what is.
- Don't dwell on it.
- Take the positive.
- Let it go.
Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness. When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward. But if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly.
If you tend to hold a grudge, you don't let it go when you feel someone's insulted or wronged you. I hope you won't hold a grudge against me for bringing it up. Grudge comes from the now dead Middle English word "grutch," which meant "to complain or grumble." Someone who bears a grudge might often be grouchy.
Many people hold grudges, deep ones, that can last a lifetime. Many are unable to let go of the anger they feel towards those who “wronged” them in the past, even though they may have a strong desire and put in a concerted effort to do so.
The feeling can be caused by several different situations, however, they all involve a sense of injustice or wrongdoing from an individual. For example, public humiliation, constant discrimination or prejudice, being taken advantage of, feeling unrecognized, envy and jealousy can all result in resentment.
Resentment (also called ranklement or bitterness) is a mixture of disappointment, anger and fear. It comprises the three basic emotions of disgust, sadness and surprise—the perception of injustice. It is not one of Paul Ekman's six basic emotions (surprise, disgust, happiness, sadness, anger, and fear).
Resentment, or the strong and painful bitterness you feel when someone does something wrong to you, doesn't have actual physical weight, but it feels very heavy and can last a long time. Forgiveness is one way to get rid of resentment. Sometimes resentment lasts for years.
To resent something is to feel anger or bitterness toward it. You might resent someone who has treated you poorly. To resent is a strong, negative feeling. Lots of people resent celebrities because they're famous and wealthy.
Before you do though, here are 8 ways you can blast through any frustration:
- Ask Yourself, “What Is Working in This Situation?”
- Keep an Accomplishments Log.
- Focus On What You Want to Happen.
- Remove the “Noise” and Simplify.
- Multiple Solutions.
- Take Action.
- Visualize a Positive Outcome to the Situation.
- Stay Positive.
But there are 7 key things you can do to bring yourself down when you're feeling irritable or on edge.
- Figure out the source.
- Reduce caffeine and alcohol.
- It's often the little things.
- Get in touch with your compassion.
- Gain perspective.
- Rid yourself of nervous energy.
- Get quiet or alone time.
ANGER: There is a saying "Frustration begets anger and anger begets aggression." Direct anger and aggression is expressed toward the object perceived as the cause of the frustration. An angry person often acts without thinking. The person has given in to the frustration and they have given up restraint.